Friday, January 9, 2009

A Study In Bonding

I write a lot about couples bonding in one way, sexual satisfaction between loving partners or casual partners and even strangers. There are an infinite number of combinations, only some of which I’ve been writing about.
I didn’t want to move on this year without reminding the loving couples that read this blog about bonding with your mate.

Below is a list of typical bonding behaviors. Sometimes they fall by the wayside in long-term relationships. For more about bonding, there is a great article called “The Lazy Way To Stay In Love” on a site about healing with sexual relationships, Reuniting

So what behaviors can lovers use to signal each other that they want to deepen their emotional connection? Here is a list:
* smiling, with eye contact
* skin-to-skin contact
* providing a service or treat without being asked
* giving unsolicited approval, via smiles or compliments
* gazing into each other’s eyes for several moments
* listening intently, and restating what you hear
* forgiving or overlooking an error or thoughtless remark, whether past or present
* preparing your partner something to eat
* synchronized breathing
* kissing with lips and tongues
* cradling, or gently rocking, your partner’s head and torso (works well on a couch, or with lots of pillows)
* holding, or spooning, each other in stillness for at least twenty minutes to a half-hour
* wordless sounds of contentment and pleasure
* stroking with intent to comfort
* massaging with intent to comfort, especially feet, shoulders and head
* hugging with intent to comfort
* lying with your ear over your partner’s heart and listening to his or her heartbeat for several moments
* touching and sucking of nipples/breasts
* gently placing your palm over your lover’s genitals with intent to comfort
* making time together at bedtime a priority (even if one partner has to get up and work on something afterward)

The desire for, and rewards of, these behaviors are deeply rooted in millions of year of evolution. Enjoy!


Scottinni said...

very good Debbie. I will keep this handy


Anonymous said...

This is a god list to keep in mind. I think most people do some but not all of them. I must admit that we don't and I think my wife and I have a pretty good connection.