Reform Blogger !

Below is a part of an email I received today. I'm sure that many of my fellow sex bloggers that read this blog got it also. I like the ideas presented here. Please look over those ideas at the links and make your choices. I hope that you go with 'Yes' to remove the forced warning page that is now imposed on blogs like mine.

Using Google's new Product Ideas service, I'd like to work with you and other bloggers to reform Blogger's flawed content warning interstitial. As you may know, the forced warning page placed on "objectionable" blogs has caused a great deal of frustration for many users and possibly to yourself.
More info on these issues can be found here.

I ask that you consider voting "Yes" to:
"Make Content Warning optional. Remove flagged blogs from Blogger's Listings (Next Blog, etc), instead of forcing a splash page on 'objectionable' blogs (ex: nude art blogs). The warning page causes more problems than it solves and limits expression."

Vote Here To: Reform the Content Warning

Thanks for helping out.

Good and Bad

We all go through experiences involving love,lust,hurt,rejection,etc.
I believe that when two people interact there is always some form of chemistry moving back and forth from the one to the other.
I also think that it varies, and not so much by whether you know the person or not, but more by surroundings,moods and atmosphere.
I think that this chemical movement can vary from being very pleasurable to very sad.

I found a horrible way to get my creative juices flowing. I don't recommend it and surely I will find an alternative. CJ and I had a fight last night. It was stupid, as most are, but all of a sudden I felt like the walls were closing in on me. I packed up and left. I checked into a nice hotel and I will return in a couple days. The thing is that since I've been here I have been writing for both my blog and my personal journal, working with ideas for the blog, and learn some things about advanced HTML coding. I don't know what triggered it.
I am confident that I will be welcomed with open arms, as will he by me.
A brief period of time will be spent on our issue and we'll move on. We learned the hard way last time around what happens if we don't do that.
I doubt it will warrant make up sex, but we will be close again.
I think the quote above explains it all, especially describing CJ and I.

Cyber-The Experience

When I finished my last story, The Unlocked Door , I wanted to write about cybersex in an informative way.

Cybersex is defined as:
A virtual sex encounter in which two or more persons connected remotely via a computer network send one another sexually explicit messages describing a sexual experience. It is a form of role-playing in which the participants pretend they are having actual sexual relations. In one iteration, this fantasy sex is accomplished by the participants describing their actions and responding to their chat partners in a mostly written form designed to stimulate their own sexual feelings and fantasies.

"Pretty self-explanatory and dry wouldn’t you say?"

Additionally:
The quality of a cybersex encounter typically depends upon the participants' abilities to evoke a vivid, visceral mental picture in the minds of their partners. Imagination and suspension of disbelief are also critically important.

"This is what helps me practice my writing and gives more insight into what people’s fantasies consist of, it’s a wonderful buffet!"

There are always two sides to a story:
Advantages to ‘cybering’ include:
Cybersex can satisfy some sexual desires without the risk of sexually transmitted disease or pregnancy, it is a physically safe way for young people to experiment with sexual thoughts and emotions. Additionally, people with long-term ailments (including HIV) can engage in cybersex as a way to safely achieve sexual gratification without putting their partners at risk.
Cybersex allows "real-life" partners who are physically separated to continue to be sexually intimate. It can function to sustain the sexual dimension of a relationship in which the partners see each other only infrequently face to face.
Cybersex has also been used in therapy to help those who are too shy or are unsure of how to (re)enter the dating and sexual scene. For example, some therapists have clients practice flirting skills and rehearse how to ask for what they want sexually in chat rooms.

Disadvantages to ‘cybering’ include:
While it does not involve physical contact, critics claim that the powerful emotions involved can cause marital stress, especially when cybersex culminates in an Internet romance. In several known cases Internet adultery became the grounds for which a couple divorced. Therapists report a growing number of patients addicted to this activity[, a form of both Internet addiction and sexual addiction, with the standard problems associated with addictive behavior.

I started ‘cybering’ more than 10 years ago (I got my first computer in 1995). I’ve been smart enough to not get into any trouble with it. I have met a couple of men via my cybering, including two relationships that lasted over 2 years. As I moved onto blogging about 4 years ago I included it as part of writing repertoire. I’m very interested in hearing from my readers about any experiences that you want to share or any opinions you have, positive or negative, about the whole idea. I’m absolutely fascinated by the whole phenomena.

If you’d like to read more of my stories inspired by cybersex see the links below.

• Sex News Sunday #8
• CJ’s Thoughts on Fidelity
• Tell Me
• Objectification and Feminism
• A Quick Bite to Eat
• Cyber Foreplay

There is much more, be sure to use the search blog feature and type in cybersex

Vindication !

Usually I would wait until Sunday to present any sex news that I had run across for the week.

I just couldn't hold this information back. Being a woman that does a lot of her clothes shopping at Lane Bryant I like the data from this study. I doubt that it will change the preconceived notions men have about women, including my dear CJ, but there is still a feeling of vindication.

I have included excerpts about "The Curious Correlation Between Weight and Sex" below. Click on the link to get the whole story.






....According to research published in the September issue of Obstetrics & Gynecology, overweight women are more likely than their skinny sisters to report that they've had sex with a man -- 92% of overweight women reported having had sexual intercourse with a man vs. 87% of women of normal weight.
"It's totally unexpected," says Marie Harvey, the Oregon State University professor who co-authored the study with Dr. Bliss Kaneshiro, assistant professor at the school of medicine at the University of Hawaii....

The study's objective was to look at the impact of body mass index on sexual behaviour, and all other measures -- such as age of first intercourse, number of partners, frequency of intercourse and sexual orientation -- showed no difference between normal weight women and overweight women....

Prior to the release of the study's results, many hypothesized that overweight and obese women would be less sexually active than their normal-weight counterparts.
"It's our stereotype that men are attracted to slender women," says Harvey, who adds that thin women are often perceived as more sexually empowered....

© Copyright (c) Canwest News Service

Playing Solitaire

Masturbation!
We all do it, but it's not talked about much.
There are special shops, not only online, but everywhere where you can buy "toys" specifically for that purpose.

I've used masturbation to help me sleep, to relieve stress, and as the final ending after I've written one of my stories for The Diary.

The last couple of times that I indulged in my pocket rocket I thought about what a lonely experience it actually is. Skin to skin contact is so much better. I can't deny that it feels good.
The irony has become a bit of a dilemma for me.

Anybody out there agree with me or have they had the same experiences?
I'll look forward to your insights.

To see Dirty Debbie enjoying one of her toys, check out Debbie's Bath Time
A no nonsense guide to masturbation can be found at WebMD
The myths about masturbation are busted here.

CBW #100 A Benchmark

This contributor has the honor of being the 100th cock to be blogged on Debbie's Diary.

Notice his brief note:
It ain't the biggest, but I like it!

I'm sure the women like it too, but it gives me a chance to make a commentary on size.
Listening guys?
This is just my point of view, but size doesn't matter as long as you know what you're doing with it.
Remember this, you're about 3 feet away from your "Mr Happy". I'm sure many women would agree with me when I say there's a big (excuse the pun) difference when you're up close and personal with that same Mr. Happy. For example, when you are taking all that meat into your mouth.

Visit our contributor at : Dirty Little Mommas Boy
See all previous CBW's here.
The first CBW that I have a picture for is #2 and it's CJ see it here.

A Lesson Learned

Preface: I have gotten several emails and comments on this post already about the C-Pap machine for CJ. Although I appreciate those comments, we have investigated that. My question below is more about finding a new/different way to show intimacy to replace the problem we're having.















Dirty Debbie's first question of the year is a personal plea for help:

I may be hard to believe, but it's been months since CJ and I have slept together. It's true and it's due to one thing: snoring.
When we were first married, years ago, there wasn't a problem. Two things have changed since then: I have more trouble sleeping than I used to and he snores, loudly.
We have a wonderful guest room that has become CJ's room. When we go sleep (not bed) at night we go our separate ways.
CJ used to have time before work to join me for a little while in the morning, but that's no longer true.

The other day I asked CJ if he thought that the lack of actually sleeping together had taken something away from our intimacy.
He answered in the affirmative. I had no reply, I knew what the answer was going to be.

I know that making love is the usually the pinnacle of intimacy and bonding. It's the perfect way to share, know, and be close to one another. I think another way is just the act of sleeping near each other. Those kisses good night aren't the same when I'm standing at 'my' bedroom door. We both sleep 'au natural' and hugging and kissing good night in our bed is more loving to me too.

I wish our work schedules were little more compatible, that may help me think of something that could replace this intimacy. So far no luck.
I'm usually more creative than this, but I'm drawing a blank this time.

Is anyone out there having the same kind of trouble. Or have you had it?
Any ideas for Debbie and CJ?

Addendum:We did sleep together the other night because I asked CJ to join me that night. All we did was kiss goodnight, this time while lying next to each other, snuggled, and fell asleep. True I did take a Rozerem to help me sleep, but it was nice. What is it about just physically lying together asleep?
Still I don't want to medicate myself all the time and any comments or suggestions are appreciated.

Shave The Day

OK gals join in the fun and recognize the day to make sure there is no Bush left behind. I will be and will, of course, get CJ to capture the moment.
Read up on the idea at:

The one who has spread the word the most...
Mominatrix
This one is from one of my hometown newspapers,
The Examiner

And this site has the best tools (in fact I use one of them):
Beaver Shaver

A Study In Bonding

I write a lot about couples bonding in one way, sexual satisfaction between loving partners or casual partners and even strangers. There are an infinite number of combinations, only some of which I’ve been writing about.
I didn’t want to move on this year without reminding the loving couples that read this blog about bonding with your mate.


Below is a list of typical bonding behaviors. Sometimes they fall by the wayside in long-term relationships. For more about bonding, there is a great article called “The Lazy Way To Stay In Love” on a site about healing with sexual relationships, Reuniting

So what behaviors can lovers use to signal each other that they want to deepen their emotional connection? Here is a list:
* smiling, with eye contact
* skin-to-skin contact
* providing a service or treat without being asked
* giving unsolicited approval, via smiles or compliments
* gazing into each other’s eyes for several moments
* listening intently, and restating what you hear
* forgiving or overlooking an error or thoughtless remark, whether past or present
* preparing your partner something to eat
* synchronized breathing
* kissing with lips and tongues
* cradling, or gently rocking, your partner’s head and torso (works well on a couch, or with lots of pillows)
* holding, or spooning, each other in stillness for at least twenty minutes to a half-hour
* wordless sounds of contentment and pleasure
* stroking with intent to comfort
* massaging with intent to comfort, especially feet, shoulders and head
* hugging with intent to comfort
* lying with your ear over your partner’s heart and listening to his or her heartbeat for several moments
* touching and sucking of nipples/breasts
* gently placing your palm over your lover’s genitals with intent to comfort
* making time together at bedtime a priority (even if one partner has to get up and work on something afterward)

The desire for, and rewards of, these behaviors are deeply rooted in millions of year of evolution. Enjoy!

So This Is Christmas

From the welcoming household of CJ and Debbie we wish you all Happy Holidays, no matter which holiday it is you celebrate. In our household it's closer the the pagan holiday Yule.

Another report is that I will return to my blog after the first week of the new year (CJ's birthday is right after New Year's)
The new year may bring a few more posts with more opinions than before. I'm also going to install a suggestion box on the sidebar. Please use it.
We are all going to get back to having some fun around here. The more the merrier. Send along suggestions, fantasies about Debbie doing you, and those wonderful CBW's. In fact, a note to any of my readers that sent along CBW's before I shut down in the middle of November. Please resend your pics. I was in a cynical mood about my inspiration, or lack thereof, and deleted all your beautiful cocks. Please replenish me guys.

It's Sexy!

It's sexy...make up your mind, either way, or someone else will do it for you!

JUST VOTE

Sex News Sunday #9 Too Close To Home

This week's news dismayed me not only because of the content, but the fact that it was discovered in my home state of Maryland.

It was recently discovered that in 2004 the database of women with cervical cancer had been altered so more were reported than actually had the disease in the state of Maryland.


The Baltimore Sun exposed what had gone on in it's July 29th edition.

It was discovered after 400 women who did not have cervical cancer received letters in 2005 asking for their participation in a study. Some of the women got in touch with Maryland's Family Health Administration. There was also a tip from an employee of the database management company that lead to a criminal investigation.

The database is used by CDC, NAACCR, other states and researchers. The number of cancer cases reported in the database is used to award grants to counties for cancer prevention, education, screening and treatment programs.

I don't know which is worse, the fact that such a lie would be perpetrated or that agencies have to lie about something like the amount of cancer patients to be able to get the funding they need to cure a devastating disease.

Read more about what's going on here.
Learn more about cervical cancer.
And please ladies, get your PAP smears and get your daughter's vaccinated with the new HPV vaccine.

Sex News Sunday #8

This week the post is a mixture of news and a poll to see how people feel about it.

The following story comes from The Coffee News.
It reminded me of the song Escape by Jimmy Buffet and this commentary.



A couple from Bosnia are getting divorced after they discovered that they were cheating on the other by having Internet affairs. What really surprised them was that the cyber-affairs turned out to be with each other. They had been carrying on a chat-room relationship for several months. They called themselves "Sweetie" and "Prince of Joy" and they poured out their hearts to one another. When the couple discovered they were both being unfaithful-even though it was with each other they decided to divorce.

Now what do you think? I personally would take all this as an opportunity to find out more about my partner and work on whatever led to the "affairs" in the first place. What do you think?

What Would You Do?
	I'd try to work it out.
	I'd just forgive and forget.
	I'd get the divorce.
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Sex News Sunday #7

I chose the following story not only for content, but for my own selfish reasons.






The subject today is not new to most women. It's from the always self proclaimed unbiased(?) Fox News online.
Fox reports on a study that shows that women feel 'cheap' and 'used' after a one night stand. Don't ask me why they used quotes for those words.
It is a story that looks into the psychology of casual sex. My favorite, next to my own, website is Wikipedia.
Wiki describes casual sex by:

One night stand is a single sexual encounter between individuals, where at least one of the parties has no immediate intention or expectation of establishing a longer-term sexual or romantic relationship.

Apparently women get involved with things like one night stands because of a certain degree of flattery felt, the sense of being wanted. Being a female I understand those feelings. Men are on the opposite end of the pole (excuse the pun): men lower their standards to get laid and the flattery is a fantasy to them.
I always enjoy the news I find that deal with the opinions and feelings that involve both sexes. To read all the information check out my last Sex News post and read about the study at FoxNews

Now to add some personal experience to the objective study.
When I was college, many years ago, before sex could kill you with AIDS or Hep C. I enjoyed many different men. I hope they enjoyed me too. I would say that about 95% of those encounters were casual or what is called today, steady fuck buddies.
True, once in a while I felt cheap and I questioned my standards. It wasn't all bad though.
When I was a 19 year old sophomore I was introduced by my friends to an 18 year old freshman.
I wasn't that impressed. Without going into the soap opera-like details. I eventually became interested and curious in him. I ended up propositioning him. In my mind it would be a fun night, maybe even a fun weekend, but that would be it. It was fun. It was great, I could barely walk the next day.
We ended up together for a much longer time than that weekend. I was surprised. It seemed like fate.
His name was CJ. We were married about 2 years later and divorced 5 years after that. We have wonderful daughter now, known as the Star Child to us. After 17 years we were reunited and are back making love to each other again.
I would say go into a casual sex experience with your eyes open gals, but remember you never know, it could be a way to meet your soulmate.

Is This Possible?

Tonight CJ told me that: "All I ever think about is sex". He didn't seem to be kidding.
So I want to know what my readers think. Can you have too much sex on the brain? If you do tell me what "too much" is. Personally I don't think that's all I think about. It sure would ruin my job performance if I did....lol Although truthfully I do get some ideas for stories at work...mmm.
Add any thoughts in the comment area and please take my poll.
Thanks all.

Can You Think Too Much About Sex?
	Oh Yes
	No Way
	What was he thinking?
	Dirty Debbie can't
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Sex News Sunday #6

Today's title for Sex News could be called "Is This Really News?"













As you may have noticed by now, my news posts many times are about recent research on the subject.  Apparently this week Durham University released research that shows they have proof that men like casual sex more than women do.  This 'fact' seems to be common knowledge to me.

The reasearch speaks more of evolution and emotional maturity and biology.  It always amazes me that just the difference of the experience of sex is different for woman, because of one major thing: a woman's body is invaded and penetrated during the act.

Read about the research and reasons about the attidtude toward Casual Sex and Scientific Fact

Sex News Sunday #5

Politics and Sex

I read an interesting article this week in regards to Sen. Clinton's failed presidential campaign.
Psychologists and sociologists at Live Science


These scholars say that the reason the she failed was social bias.
They theorize that when a woman is aggressive and acts like a leader that it causes conflicts with our gender stereotypes. This set her up for failure. It is difficult to like a woman that fits these leadership qualities.

Before I go on I want to make something clear. I am a female baby-boomer and I never supported Hillary. I don't think that being a female candidate was a factor. Our bodies are mere containers, no matter the gender, the handicap, the beauty, or any other physical factor, it's the contents that matter.
I didn't like the contents.

The sociological/psychological factors are fascinating though.
The idea that sexism is more acceptable than racism is an idea that is presented. Think of it, black men could vote before any woman could.
A Johns Hopkins study even showed that Obama got more media coverage than Clinton.

Read more about Senator Clinton, leadership, and social bias here: The Strange Role of Sex in Hilliary's Failed Run.

Sex News Sunday #4

This week I am really voicing more of an opinion than news.
When it was running on HBO, I loved Sex and the City
Samantha will always be my favorite and to this day whenever I order a Cosmo I think of them, but there is a limit girls!



I have been getting "news" about the movie from my source for these posts (Google alerts) for at least a month. It's becoming tiresome and it's no longer news folks.
Get over it. Just think if some of the sex bloggers you know of and read wrote a book or screenplay, now that would be juicy.

If you aren't over it below are some links I've been sent from Google, just today along with the true sex news including, sex scandals, sex crimes, the same-sex marriage rulings, and studies.

Camaraderie, cheers and shoes at 'Sex' screening

Time Warner's `Sex and the City' Earns $26.9 Million in One Day

"Sex" too hot for Indiana Jones at box office

Sex And The Skittish

The 'Sex and the City' movie becomes a girls' night out

'Sex and the City' Movie - Favorite Quotes! **Spoilers Alert**

My News

I've waited a few days to share this good news. The Fellatrix has invited me to become one of her Fellatrices. I was extremely honored, and after being assured that my writing was good enough for her site, I whole-heartedly accepted.
My blow job stories will posted on her site every Sunday. My first post will appear on May 18th.
I will cross post here on Mondays because I've come up with a new idea for a regular subject for Sundays - Sex News Sunday. I subscribe to different sites and Google Alerts to keep up on the current events about sex. It's amazing the different studies, information, self-help, and tips that are out there. I'm not talking about gossip or pornography. I mean news. I really am always keeping the description of my blog in mind:
Some of the random dirty little thoughts that may run through my head on any given day. Fantasy, reality, current events, let's talk dirty. Remember the brain is the largest sex organ.

I think Sex News Sunday could provoke some interesting comments and discussions.
Let me know what you think.

The Dish Best Served Cold

OK, OK In my last post about infidelity I said I would get back to erotic story writing. Obviously, I haven’t done that yet, I’m still in need of some inspiration. While waiting for this inspiration, I came across an interesting article on the CNN.com site. It seemed to be the perfect ending to the entire infidelity series that included these posts:
Topic Of The Day-Infidelity
Commentary On The Comments
CJ’s Thoughts On Fidelity



The title of that article was: When he's a Cheat, Revenge Seems Sweet

It gives many examples of what women scorned do for revenge and why. Before I get into that though, I will make a confession.
I have indulged my need for revenge once.
I was young and stupid and in college. I was a sophomore and he was a junior. His name was Steve. I won’t go into our relationship other than the fact that it ended very badly. I quickly thought of something to do to serve him that dish best served cold, revenge. I easily sneaked into the upperclassmen’s dorm when I knew he wasn’t going to be there. The only tool I had with me was small. It was a tube of Krazy Glue ©. I squirted the acrylic resin not only into the lock on the door, but also in the hinge pins of the door hinges. It felt so good. I then quickly and quietly left. Although I was suspected, I was never caught. I was sick the day there was to be an inquiry in front of the student judiciary board. Then Spring break came along and I never heard anything about it again.

What I did was nothing compared to this:

… She unscrewed the door of her cheating ex's Audi, inserted a marble in the frame, then screwed it back together. It took mechanics months to find the cause of the rattling. At last they pulled out the marble and a note: "You finally found it, you fucker."

But as the saying goes, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."

So ladies now that I’ve confessed and given an example of another women’s revenge do you have any stories you’d like to share? Let me know.