Thursday, March 12, 2009

Cyber-The Experience

When I finished my last story, The Unlocked Door , I wanted to write about cybersex in an informative way.

Cybersex is defined as:
A virtual sex encounter in which two or more persons connected remotely via a computer network send one another sexually explicit messages describing a sexual experience. It is a form of role-playing in which the participants pretend they are having actual sexual relations. In one iteration, this fantasy sex is accomplished by the participants describing their actions and responding to their chat partners in a mostly written form designed to stimulate their own sexual feelings and fantasies.
"Pretty self-explanatory and dry wouldn’t you say?"

The quality of a cybersex encounter typically depends upon the participants' abilities to evoke a vivid, visceral mental picture in the minds of their partners. Imagination and suspension of disbelief are also critically important.
"This is what helps me practice my writing and gives more insight into what people’s fantasies consist of, it’s a wonderful buffet!"

There are always two sides to a story:
Advantages to ‘cybering’ include:
Cybersex can satisfy some sexual desires without the risk of sexually transmitted disease or pregnancy, it is a physically safe way for young people to experiment with sexual thoughts and emotions. Additionally, people with long-term ailments (including HIV) can engage in cybersex as a way to safely achieve sexual gratification without putting their partners at risk.
Cybersex allows "real-life" partners who are physically separated to continue to be sexually intimate. It can function to sustain the sexual dimension of a relationship in which the partners see each other only infrequently face to face.
Cybersex has also been used in therapy to help those who are too shy or are unsure of how to (re)enter the dating and sexual scene. For example, some therapists have clients practice flirting skills and rehearse how to ask for what they want sexually in chat rooms.

Disadvantages to ‘cybering’ include:
While it does not involve physical contact, critics claim that the powerful emotions involved can cause marital stress, especially when cybersex culminates in an Internet romance. In several known cases Internet adultery became the grounds for which a couple divorced. Therapists report a growing number of patients addicted to this activity[, a form of both Internet addiction and sexual addiction, with the standard problems associated with addictive behavior.

I started ‘cybering’ more than 10 years ago (I got my first computer in 1995). I’ve been smart enough to not get into any trouble with it. I have met a couple of men via my cybering, including two relationships that lasted over 2 years. As I moved onto blogging about 4 years ago I included it as part of writing repertoire. I’m very interested in hearing from my readers about any experiences that you want to share or any opinions you have, positive or negative, about the whole idea. I’m absolutely fascinated by the whole phenomena.
If you’d like to read more of my stories inspired by cybersex see the links below.
There is much more, be sure to use the search blog feature and type in cybersex


BettyGolden said...

Thanks for this post! I agree with the positive aspects of cybersex you mentioned, but I love touching..

Leonhart said...

I've never done cybersex. I think I get mentally stuck on the idea of HOW. . . I mean, you're typing with one hand? Is that how it goes?

I guess women don't necessarily need hands when there's a good vibrator around, but for guys?

Probably I'm over-thinking it.

Anonymous said...

I love that picture, haven't cybered in a while but I used to enjoy it a lot

Anonymous said...

Betty, I love touching as much as the next I must tell you though I became a lot less "vanilla" after I started cybering. You can safely act out fantasies or due things you may not have tried yet. It made me curious and when I got into bed I tried a few more things and I learned how to ask for what I wanted while I was there ;)

Leo, don't over think it. Believe me it can be done, I think there is more a pause on the guys side when making a reply, but that's part of it. As for me, I have a small vibrator ("pocket rocket") that is very manageable.

Anon, hey if you enjoyed it once you can enjoy it again! If fact I urge you to. See my profile page for my Yahoo IM. Stop in and say 'hi' sometime.

Anonymous said...

After a long sabbatical I have returned to the erotic world of cyber sex. It is a fine compliment to looking at hot pictures especially when your partner is fine tuned at the art of erotic word play. Deb is a master.


Anonymous said...

Thank you very much Woody. You're going to make me blush one more time.

Jenna said...

Just wanted you to know that you have another fan out here in cyberworld. Love to read your blog...


Nortiman said...

Like you, Deb, I've been cybering for years. Not in an addictive way, but as a part of various intimate internet relationships. I have a very good imagination, so I take my cybersex partners on a wild sexual ride by playing with their biggest sex organ, the one between their ears.
I usually only have one at a time and it may be months between partners, although at one time I had three at once, which was a bit daunting, especially when I had a couple online at one time. lol. My cybersex partners are usually between men and feeling very sexually deprived, or with my present one, is a mature virgin nurse in one of the Arab muslim states where sexual opportunities are extremely limited for women. After a few months, or sometimes years, they move on to real relationships with my blessing.
I am able to bring my partners to screaming multiple orgasms using their imagination, which brings real satisfacton for me.