Sunday, July 27, 2008

Sex News Sunday #8

This week the post is a mixture of news and a poll to see how people feel about it.

The following story comes from The Coffee News.
It reminded me of the song Escape by Jimmy Buffet and this commentary.

A couple from Bosnia are getting divorced after they discovered that they were cheating on the other by having Internet affairs. What really surprised them was that the cyber-affairs turned out to be with each other. They had been carrying on a chat-room relationship for several months. They called themselves "Sweetie" and "Prince of Joy" and they poured out their hearts to one another. When the couple discovered they were both being unfaithful-even though it was with each other they decided to divorce.

Now what do you think? I personally would take all this as an opportunity to find out more about my partner and work on whatever led to the "affairs" in the first place. What do you think?

What Would You Do?
I'd try to work it out.
I'd just forgive and forget.
I'd get the divorce.
Free polls from

Monday, July 21, 2008

A response to a load of Fox News excrement

A recent post by DD about a fox news study and other comments, and conversation with DD got me thinking about casual sexual exploits.
Quotes stolen directly from this FoxNews article
Yeah, I said "stolen" - FUCK YOU FOX! Your reporting is slanted and biased, and you brook no dissension or legitimate argument.

"Guys just want, well, you know, while gals go to bed with the false impression of flattery and a craving for feeling desirable." "Men reported feelings of success since the partner was desirable to others and found the experiences much more sexually satisfying than women did."

It's true - we men still engender a neanderthal history in our genes, but what did our distant cousins find attractive in a mate? Was it some physical affect or was there a subtle psychological mechanism to which we (or they) aren't aware?
It is also true that men will cheat and (moreover) tell lies of false flattery in order to bed the female they desire.
The sad part of my experience shows that this is true. Does this mean that women are shallow and easily swayed by any form of flattery? In some cases I believe the answer is yes; but what of those attempted conquests where even the best flattery falls flaccid?
There is nothing more devastating to a male ego than to be shot down when attempting a casual pickup - be it in a bar, a club, or even on the street - after using their sweetest flattery. The thoughts race: "Is she married?", "Am I ugly?", "Do I or my breath smell bad?", "Why is she with THAT geek?", or "Doesn't she want a REAL man?"
To be sure, there's a part of every man named Og who jumps up and down inside screaming when shot down. Admit it men.
"O ooo ooo ee EE EE AH AH!!!"

And the women. What woman in her right mind wouldn't want to be found desirable?
What man wouldn't fall for flattery from a woman as well?
Turn the statement around and you will find that men are affected by flattery and the craving for feeling desired as well.
Christ, I'm not even a research psychologist and I know the truth here..

"Women were not hooking up in an effort to secure a long-term beau, but because they felt flattered by the overnight proposition." "Contrary to popular belief, women said they didn't view casual sex as a prelude to a long-term relationship.

Really? So the researcher here is saying that women are idiots. I think not. The truth of the matter may lie somewhere in between as most of us are looking for that "certain someone" and are intelligent enough to realize that any one of us may be "the one".

"(m)en lower their standards when it comes to one-night stands, so the presumed flattery is a fantasy or close to it."

Ahem. Yeah, if they're drunk and just want to fuck the first thing they see perhaps. As to flattery as fantasy, see above. Do men lie to get laid? Of course! As do women.

"Often [women] said things like, 'I felt so flattered, so happy that he found me attractive. It was so nice to be wanted'"

This is quite the vapid statement, don't you think? I can see and hear in my mind's eye some Valley Girl saying this, and perhaps it is true that we have esteem issues in our society, but why?
Were they not told that they were special and pretty by their father, or if they were, could these sentiments have been misused or abused?

"Women predominantly reported "regret at being used," with additional comments including: "I felt cheap," "horrified afterward," and "I felt degraded. Made myself look cheap and easy. Total regret."

My question to those women: "Were you drunk before you fucked?" Oh, you weren't? That just proves that you're a sucker for flattery and that you have no idea of your true self worth or inner beauty.
"Oh I just couldn't help myself, I just HAD to spread my legs and let him fuck me hard!"

"(T)hey could be collecting healthy genes for their offspring. So even if a woman can't score a lengthy relationship with a guy whose sperm could offer, say, disease-resistant genes or genes for a particular kind of intelligence, her thinking might be, "Why not grab the guy for sex?"'

Grabbing healthy genes for their offspring. Any where exactly do women STORE these genes that they are collecting? Do women's bodies keep sperm in some special place until just the right ones are collected and combined to make the perfect match for the ovum?
Guess I missed this one in biology class..

"If you've got a Brad Pitt character — absolutely gorgeous and incredibly loaded with money and so on — the chances of getting him to commit himself to you for the rest of your life are pretty slim," Campbell said. "But the chances of him giving you a half an hour on a Wednesday afternoon in a hotel are probably much better."

(sigh) I guess what the researchers here are saying, as reported by Fox, is that women are stupid and fall instantly for a good looking guy with money and an expensive car.
Maybe it's true is some regard.
I've asked myself questions about this in the past , "why do women fall for looks and the perception of money or just the knowledge of money?" and can only look to my experiences for answers.

I can get a manicure and great haircut, put on my Armani suit, rent a sports car, go out on the town to the most tony spot and strut my stuff and get the knockout girl but if my attitude isn't right, she'll just pass me over.
It's all about confidence.
It doesn't matter that I'm dressed "to the 9's" or how much money I toss around, what matter is that I act with confidence when I approach my quarry.
Yes I said "quarry".
Man is by nature a hunter, woman a gatherer. (BTW, I know the lines have crossed in history, but bear with me) and one of the basic rules of hunting is this:
I am confident that I will come home with my kill.

A hunter proceeds with respect for his quarry, but with the belief that with his knowledge and skill that he will prevail - over the game, over predators, and most assuredly - over other hunters. Winners after all, want it more and exude confidence and self assurance in an assertive manner.
This is what men do when they are after the biggest hunt of all: pussy.

Have I had my share of disappoints? Yup. Many times.
Usually came the next day during a hangover.
Have I been "used"? Yup. Makes me feel like shit.
Have I ever had an authentic NSA fuck buddy? Yup, but most ended up fawning over me and wanting a relationship that I didn't desire.
DId I ever fawn over a hookup only to be let down? Yup. Hurt like hell, so I can empathize with how women feel here.
Were most hookups regrettable or forgettable? In more than 75% of my experiences, yes. 'Turns out that I was looking for more than great tits and a tight pussy.
What I was really looking for was a partner that understood me way down to the very core, one who knew when and would tell me when I was full of shit but at the same time, allow me my fantasies and illusions of importance without castrating my intelligence or ego.
One with whom I could experience life on a deeper level.
One who I could respect, and who would respect me.

See, that's what I got after a famous one-night-stand, and that's really why Deb couldn't walk the next day, and indeed why we've been together (on and off) for over 25 years.

For more on "hooking up", please see: Fairfield Mirror article or Harvard College Candy article

Monday Cross Post #7

My work as a full-fledged Fellatrix at The Fellatrices continues.
I now have regular postings there every Sunday.
Again, I urge you to both enjoy my full story on that site and enjoy the stories of my fellow Fellatrices. Yesterday's post was a blowjob compilation.

Below is the tickler to help encourage you to read the post.

There is something about the words that describe a good blowjob session that are just as stimulating to me as the actually event. Well at least almost. I went through my favorite past stories in my dirty diary and list some of them below. I hope that you find them as inspiring as I do.

Now read all of My Excerpts

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Sex News Sunday #7

I chose the following story not only for content, but for my own selfish reasons.

The subject today is not new to most women. It's from the always self proclaimed unbiased(?) Fox News online.
Fox reports on a study that shows that women feel 'cheap' and 'used' after a one night stand. Don't ask me why they used quotes for those words.
It is a story that looks into the psychology of casual sex. My favorite, next to my own, website is Wikipedia.
Wiki describes casual sex by:
One night stand is a single sexual encounter between individuals, where at least one of the parties has no immediate intention or expectation of establishing a longer-term sexual or romantic relationship.

Apparently women get involved with things like one night stands because of a certain degree of flattery felt, the sense of being wanted. Being a female I understand those feelings. Men are on the opposite end of the pole (excuse the pun): men lower their standards to get laid and the flattery is a fantasy to them.
I always enjoy the news I find that deal with the opinions and feelings that involve both sexes. To read all the information check out my last Sex News post and read about the study at FoxNews

Now to add some personal experience to the objective study.
When I was college, many years ago, before sex could kill you with AIDS or Hep C. I enjoyed many different men. I hope they enjoyed me too. I would say that about 95% of those encounters were casual or what is called today, steady fuck buddies.
True, once in a while I felt cheap and I questioned my standards. It wasn't all bad though.
When I was a 19 year old sophomore I was introduced by my friends to an 18 year old freshman.
I wasn't that impressed. Without going into the soap opera-like details. I eventually became interested and curious in him. I ended up propositioning him. In my mind it would be a fun night, maybe even a fun weekend, but that would be it. It was fun. It was great, I could barely walk the next day.
We ended up together for a much longer time than that weekend. I was surprised. It seemed like fate.
His name was CJ. We were married about 2 years later and divorced 5 years after that. We have wonderful daughter now, known as the Star Child to us. After 17 years we were reunited and are back making love to each other again.
I would say go into a casual sex experience with your eyes open gals, but remember you never know, it could be a way to meet your soulmate.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008


I finally got my stimulus check.
I can't figure out when the battery goes or what to stimulate.
Can anyone help?

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Secret Sins: Chapter 9: "Seats of Power"

OK. Well in my job, I sometimes get odd request when I do my contract "service calls", so I thought that I 'd tell you about this one fellow.
Just another odd job in a whole plethora of odd occurrences in my line of work, but hey, who's complaining? Certainly not me.

My handler (I guess you could refer to him as my government sanctioned pimp) contacted me about "Jay", but left a cryptic note on the system to handle him with "kid gloves." Curious but with a bit of trepidation knowing some of the adventures and situations I had found in the past  I presumed that this encounter would be no different, and I was correct.

I had to fly to Cally for this one and arriving at LAX, was instructed to pick up a rental car and drive to a certain fairly affluent neighborhood in order to meet my contact.
Entering a code at the gated entrance (my, these company protectorates live well) I swung the car up to park in front of the portico, checked my makeup, took a deep breath, and rang the bell.
"Yes?" came a husky male voice over the intercom by the door.
"Hi, this is Debbie from DC Properties" I said, using the code name for the real estate company I supposedly worked for, "Ben sent me".
"Come in. Up the stairs to your left, second door on the right" intoned the voice. "Lock the door behind you."
So far so good.
Nice place this one; not like many of the houses or condos I'd visited in the past. Over the course of a few years working for the 'company', I'd seen my assignments go up in stature from seedy motel rooms to brownstones in DC and NYC, and now a gated house in the 'burbs of LA. I could sense that my talents were paying off as I began to have liaisons with more than a few high profile people.
If I crouch my stories juuuust right and hide more than a few details, I just might be able to tell you about some of the better-known personages in the future, but I digress.

Finding the room in question, I opened the door so see the back of a well dressed man sitting at a desk on the other side of a well appointed office / den.
"I'll be right with you. Have a seat" came the voice I'd heard over the intercom and with a wave of the hand, motioned me towards a lovely leather chair in the corner.
Looking around, I noticed pictures on the walls of a distinguished looking man with more than a few celebrities and politicos.
"Looking at my trophies, eh?” said the man as he turned to glance in my direction. "They're the product of many years work building relationships with powerful people - some famous, some infamous as you can see.
Looking closer I could see indeed that the man at the desk was indeed golfing or dining or chewing the fat with people like Johnny "Two Tone" XXXXX, Anthony XXXXX, and yes indeed there was one with Senator John XXXXX the both of them clinking bottles of Budwiser together in grinning celebration of some triumph.
"The seats of power can make you rich you know" said "Jay" as he rose from his chair, crossing the room towards me.

I saw now that he was a slightly older version of the man pictured on the wall, very short close-cropped slightly graying hair, well built.
"They can also give you access to things you shouldn't know or what some don't want you to know, and people who can make you disappear suddenly and permanently without warning."
How well I knew this from my past dealings with 'company' witnesses.
"I've wined and dined my share of power brokers in my day and since I'm under federal protection, I guess I should get rid of this evidence, but they remind me of my past glories."
Typical huge ego making a big mistake. When you go in 'company', you're told to get rid of any pictures or evidence of this type because you never know who's who, nor what could compromise your life. "Jay" was running a huge risk living in such a large house in LA with pictures on his den wall of his past life. I instinctively sensed that this guy was a power broker who just didn't care.

"Well, let's get at it. My wife won't be home until tomorrow so we can play all we want. Stand up" he commanded in a voice that I knew was use to getting what he desired at all times. "Damned nice. Take off your dress and let me see your tits. I love a good set of tits".
For as powerful as "Jay" was, he was a bit crude as well.
Complying, I stood up and slipped the LBD off my shoulders and let it fall to my matching black Jimmy Choo's I bought in New York, and presented myself chest out for "Jay" to see.
"Mmmm. Nice rack" he said, moving towards me to manhandle my breasts. "I can see why Ben likes you so much".
Not knowing what was coming next, I thought that I'd play my standard submissive roll and let him make the moves, but he had other ideas.
"No no no" Jay said as he began to back away "I can't fuck you. I just can't. It's not right"
Ah ha!
Sensing an opening, I turned the tale on "Jay" and walked over to him and grabbed his package through his pants while saying "Oh no you don't BITCH!" This startled "Jay" a bit, but I didn't back down. Sensing that this obviously powerful man wanted to be dominated, I ordered him to take of his pants and clothing. NOW!
A flash of terror crossed his face, but he did what he was told.
"Get into the bathroom you impotent little fuck"
Again, Jay did what he was told, and again, a look of terror crossed his face

Being the good professional that I am, and knowing that any situation I get into on these forays can get involved, I always travel prepared for any condition. Snickering through every airport TSA checkpoint, I know that the screeners are looking at in my carry on bag, wondering if I'm a terrorist. I mean, who carries handcuffs and dildos on a plane?
Reaching into my bag, I grabbed a length of cord and my good friend Gary.
Clicking my heals as I walked into the brass and marble bathroom, I saw exactly what I needed in a moments notice, so I walked up to "Jay" and standing in front of him naked, slapped him hard across the face. His ashen face turned bright red.
I slapped him again, this time harder.
"Turn around bright boy" I commanded. "Put your hands behind your back".
"Whaaa whah whaaat are you going to do to me?” asked my subject.
"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP, BITCH"! I screamed at "Jay" as I grasped his hands together and trussed them tightly together with the cord, winding it around his waist so he couldn't move.
Pushing his head towards the mirror on the wall, I leaned close in behind him and whispered in his ear with a softly vicious voice "We'll see who's in power now, won't we boyfriend".
I had grabbed a ball gag from my stash as well and now commanded "Jay" to open his mouth. He complied, half out of terror, half out of curiosity.
Shoving the ball in his mouth, I tied it securely behind his head and told him to bend over.
"Mmmnff mnnff, mnnnn" came a muffled vocalization from the gagged subject in front of me while I went about my work with Gary.
Gary is my strap on dildo. I call it Gary after a former boyfriend as it bears an uncanny resemblance to the size and girth of his member. Oh yeah. Pay back's a bitch.

Pushing "Jay's" head forward into the sink, I kicked his legs apart and began to caress his ass, which instinctively began to pucker.
"Oh no mother fucker" I said as I poured Astrolube on Gary, "You're going to get exactly what you deserve. Maybe this isn't prison, but you're going to get it and get it good".
Grabbing a firm hold of "Jay's" butt cheeks, I spread them apart.
"Mngngnd mmmrggrdd hnmmmwwaggrrd MMDGG!!!" came the muffled scream from the rag doll in front of me.
That’s when I shoved Gary in "Jay" - hard and unapologetic - just as hard as I imagined "Jay" had been in some of his business dealing.
Smirking again to myself I thought, "I guess "Jay" is going to get what he's been doing to other people all this time", and began to pump the butt in front of me with reckless abandon, without any thought to his virgin status.

“Jay’s” fighting and struggling soon stopped and not long thereafter, I noticed a copious quantity of cum shooting out the cock that had been shoved against the vanity.
Ah yes: the prostate massage works every time.
Slowing down on my thrusts to a bare crawl, I let "Jay's" ass begin to accept the girth of my dildo before popping it out in a single, quick motion.
There was a sigh of relief from my subject, and he began to relax in a slump.
Perfect! Just the thing I was waiting for!
I shoved Gary into the puckered ass in front of me as hard and fast as I could, burying it all the way up to the straps.
"Mmmnff mnnff, mnnnn MMDGG FUUUNGG!!" intoned "Jay" as he stiffened.
Heh heh heh. I can be such a vindictive bitch when I want to be, so I withdrew Gary from my victims ass in one fell swoop.
Pop! went Gary, and "Jay" collapsed on the floor.

"Now get rid of the pictures on the wall you mother fucker unless you want what just happened for real - or WORSE!" I screamed at him. "Jesus Fucking Christ! You're under the protection of the Some Very Scary People for God knows why, and nor do I care, but if you don't give a fuck about your butt, then neither should we."

"Jay" was sobbing on the floor as I undid his ball gag and untied his hands.
After cleaning off my beloved dildo, I left my client right where he was to think about things.
The trip back to LAX was uneventful except for the TSA idiots that pulled Gary out after X-Raying my bag and holding it up for everyone in line to see queried me "What's this?"
"You should know, you are one" I shot back at the moron.
I guess I'm in the wrong business if I hate people on a power trip, but like I said, pay back's a bitch.

As a coda to the story, Ben called me a few days after I got back home to thank me for doing a wonderful job out in LA. "I don't know what you did, nor do I WANT to know what you did, but my superiors wanted me to thank you personally".
It seems "Jay" had been holding out information from the 'company', but now he was chirping like a bird.
Hmmm. I wonder if the military could use me at Gitmo...

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Is This Possible?

Tonight CJ told me that: "All I ever think about is sex". He didn't seem to be kidding.
So I want to know what my readers think. Can you have too much sex on the brain? If you do tell me what "too much" is. Personally I don't think that's all I think about. It sure would ruin my job performance if I Although truthfully I do get some ideas for stories at work...mmm.
Add any thoughts in the comment area and please take my poll.
Thanks all.

Can You Think Too Much About Sex?
Oh Yes
No Way
What was he thinking?
Dirty Debbie can't
Free polls from

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Fuck Me Like Her-Part Two

As always be sure to check out the back story by reading Part One

Weeks passed, life for us remained about the same. We had moments where we acted like the couple that I wish we really were. One night he was feeling a bit passionate towards me. It had been about two months since we had made love so I was ready for him.

As we made our way to the bedroom a picture moved from my subconscious mind to the forefront. That image was of ‘the mistress’. I wanted to be her. I wanted to get the attention that I used to get from my boyfriend, the attention I deserved, and the attention she was getting instead. I was tired of being made love to like it was chore, rather than because there was an attraction, a need, or a desire. I became a different sexual being and I stayed there, in that mindset. The rest of this story tells about the fucking bitch I became.

One thing that I will give my boyfriend credit for, he did know what I liked in bed. He began to kiss me, up my neck, to my ears, and then moved to my mouth. It was then that the passion welled up in me and my favorite filthy salacious speech turned into something else and I said:
“Talk to me like you talk to your whore”

He pulled back and looked at me quizzically, but I think he thought it was just part of one of my games. Rather than the silence or coos that I normally heard, he got as filthy as I was, if not more. He told me things I had never heard before, things like,
“Fuck you bitch, how dare you ask for anything”
I ignored his comment, went ahead, and made another request.
“Now go ahead and kiss me like her”

The funny thing is that he began to kiss me differently; he began to bite and nibble on my neck and then my cheeks before sucking at my lips. He didn’t seem to mind this time; apparently going along with what he had decided was just a game. In reality, it was not anywhere near being a game. He became forceful and thrust his tongue into my mouth. I did my best to keep up with him.
This progressed, things got hotter and heavier and I was enjoying the newness of it all, even if the reason for it made my stomach turn. He started to plant soft kissed on my tits and slowly worked his way down to my pussy. I was so glad that I had shaved earlier in the day; it always makes me more sensitive. Of course, this was something different from our routine. Normally I would be on my knees before I would be serviced in such a way.
“Please, please, now eat my pussy as if it were hers!”, I begged.
I got just what I asked for. His form, his talents seemed to completely change. Rather than the few licks I had gotten used to, he took care of me from my asshole to my clit and back again. Nice and slow, gently sucking on my clit, driving me wild and making me squirm for the first time in a long time. He drew my puffy pussy lips between his lips and licked at them as he worked his way down to my puckered hole. He drove me over the edge as he tongue fucked my ass. I came hard as he moved his tongue up and down into my tight cunt. I grasped his strong shoulders and dug my nails into them as my soaked pussy rocked against his face.

Just as I was thinking how much I needed his cock, the bitch in me welled up again and I moaned out,
“Fuck me the way you like to fuck her”
Again he pulled back to look at me for a split second this time with a more worried look on his face. He answered with me just one word, “Fine!”
He pushed me back down on to the bed and straddled me right below my tits. He slid his stiff cock between my massive tits and pushed them against himself. He felt smooth and very warm. I took over the job of holding my tits as he began to fuck them. He put a few pillows under my head so I could easily lap at his cockhead as he moved towards my mouth. I loved the feeling of his smooth balls dragging across my abdomen and the taste of his pre-cum as my tongue flicked across his leaking head. He pulled at my erect nipples as he called me a whore and a cocksucker. He kept at it as he came closer to cumming.

“Oh, now suck me off”, he moaned.
I tilted my head a bit more upwards and moved up so he was kneeling right in front of me. Now his dripping cockhead was resting on my lips.
Now it was his turn, he was still treating me to the filthy language, “Now suck my cock, just the way I like it whore”.
I leaned down and began licking at his balls right away, moving my tongue up to his head and feasting on his pre-cum with it. For some reason this seemed to piss him off rather than please him.
“No, no bitch, no! Have you gotten even more stupid since last time?”
He grabbed the back of my head, took a fistful of my hair and yanked at me towards his stiff cock. When I say stiff, I mean it too. It was a fucking diamond cutter. I don’t think I had seen him that hard since he was 21 years old. In a matter of, what seemed, to be seconds, half his dick was down my throat. The back of my head was shoved down his shaft, I took him all, but I gagged like a schoolgirl in the process. I began to suck as he fucked my face as hard as he could.
“Look at me when you suck me bitch!”
The submissive in me doesn’t disappear and I looked right up at him. He fucked my face fast, hitting the back of my throat with almost every thrust. His balls were slapping against my chin and then being ground into my face. This was not what I usually expected of him. His groans were loud and very carnal.

“Oh bust those nuts babe, I’m gonna paint your slut face”
Soon after saying that, he started to explode. I sucked harder and he twitched as he started spurting. I got a taste of his jizz on my tongue and swallowed, but he quickly pulled out of my mouth and kept spurting on my face. It was like no time I had remembered in the recent past.
We both were spent after that and just laid on the bed for several minutes afterwards. There was no snuggling, no pillow talk, we didn’t speak. I eventually got up and took a shower. By the time I returned to bed, my boyfriend was already under the covers and asleep.

We never brought it up, the fact that my requests, and his response to them were because of his mistress. I couldn’t bring myself to confront him, at least not right away. At first, I couldn’t figure out why, but after a discussion with my girlfriend it came to me.
I felt sorry for her on some strange level. I felt sorry for my boyfriend’s slut. After the fuckfest we had that night I thought to myself, “Is this really how he treats her?”.
At least I was always handled with a certain gentleness. Even though I was being lied to, there was still a certain understanding to our world. My sympathy for the unknown woman didn’t last forever. He had chances to come clean, but never did. I eventually did a real confrontation and reminded him of that night. No need to go into detail about what ensued or how I caught him in the first place, but within the year I had a much cuter apartment and it was all mine.

Want to learn more about mistresses?
Expand your mind here

Monday, July 7, 2008

Monday Cross Post #6

My work as a full-fledged Fellatrix at The Fellatrices continues.
I now have regular postings there every Sunday.
Again, I urge you to both enjoy my full story on that site and enjoy the stories of my fellow Fellatrices. This one is from my archives.

Below is the tickler to help encourage you to read the entire story

When it comes to my sexuality and my playtime in bed, I have one motto:
"I'll try anything once and some things twice".

Recently I had a chance to try something new, which is always exciting. I think the more you try, the more you grow in your lovemaking expertise.

Now read and enjoy all of Strapping It On For Him

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Fuck Me Like Her-Part One

My boyfriend and I had been together for a couple of years. We had been living together for almost a year, but I was beginning to see small changes in our relationship. The thing is that subtle or little changes always seem to add up to something big and I was afraid this was one of those times. He seemed to be more moody, picked fights with me, and even though we didn’t see a lot of each other because of our work and school schedules, he didn’t seem to want to take advantage of the time we did have together.
I could tell I was starting to get depressed. It was as though I was living a life of quiet desperation, but I always did my best to cover my feelings up. I guess I wanted to stick my head in the sand about the whole thing. After all, it wasn’t bad all the time and I loved him, or at least I thought I did at the time.

Things got worse a few weeks ago though, and it helped me pull my head out of my ass, so to speak. Most any sign of affection began to disappear. There were no notes in the morning, no “I love you”, no more compliments on my looks or clothing. It was as though I was a ghost. He was either disinterested or too tired to be interested in making love. I could understand that considering his schedule, but no attempt was ever made to be physically close or please me in other ways. I just knew there was something wrong and sometimes when I asked about any of it, I became the one accused of cheating on him! It was as though any problem was my fault. That was the limit for me, I considered it disrespectful. I am proud of my love, my loyalty, and my integrity.

I needed some form of understanding. I wanted some sort of explanation one way or another. I never wanted to be so wrong about something in my life. I couldn’t help but start to notice things now; my head was very much in the clear now. I almost hated myself for one musing that always sent that special shot down to my pussy. That idea was that of my boyfriend actually fucking someone else and me seeing it.

At first, I saw a Map Quest print out with directions to a place about 30 minutes away that I was unfamiliar with. I figured he would tell me about his trip, but I never heard about it. At the end of the month I got my normal credit card bill. I always go over the charges on my bill and I saw one charge for a hotel restaurant in a nearby city. I was going to call the credit card company, but I was almost embarrassed to do so. It was dated on a day that he had off. He must have accidentally picked my Master Card up off the desk instead of his. But there was a finale, a final act that sort of made so angry that I became calm about the whole matter. That was the smell of perfume, that wasn’t mine, on him when he got home from ‘work’. Even if the scent were mine, I would find it hard to believe that it would stay with him for ten hours.
I didn’t let on at all that I knew. My mood and emotional state remained stable and even.

Luckily, I had a very empathetic girlfriend to speak to. Sure sometimes I had few more drinks than the normal with her, and we went on some food binges together, but somehow it all made me feel better. She also came in handy by introducing to one of my favorite toys , to help relieve ‘the pressure’. I think it was a mixture of the caring company and the physical pleasures of food and drink and the special orgasm toy that made me feel better whenever I saw her.

Read about how I dealt with the situation next time.

Friday, July 4, 2008

Secret Sins: Chapter 8 "Subway"

Sometimes the shit that I go through just seems a little too weird, you know, akin to a fantasy flick where the heroine jumps from some different reality back and forth until she's not really sure exactly where she resides.
That's my world, and welcome to it.

Living as I said in a major metropolitan city can be taxing at times; however the perks that one picks up in relation to art, culture and the vibe of life is exhilarating. Getting around is somewhat of a hassle, but that's where our story continues.
Ben had contacted me in the usual way with a somewhat unusual request, one that I felt may break the rules of my 'company', but hey - he's the boss.
Without giving anything away as to where we were, lets just say that the city has a subway and for the sake of argument, that it's routes are labeled by color.
Since this was my city, I knew my way around, but when Ben emailed me the specifics, I was a bit hesitant: meet the contact in the subway on the Purple line after the, oh shall we say, Main Street stop at 9:15 in the morning.

Usually, the subway is pretty crowded at Main, but the directions were clear: the contact would be dressed just like any other business man, except that he would be leaning against one of the poles and would be wearing one black sock and one brown.
I was to say nothing, except to sidle up to him and pleasure him there discreetly.
An interesting prospect to say the least, with elements of naughtiness and possible embarrassing humiliation at being caught as well.

Wanting to calm myself before this strangely dangerous encounter, and wondering how I would perform my job in front of so many people (!), I decided to ford the waters of rush hour by starting off riding the subway from one side of town to the other, with all the requisite stops and transfers that would put me on the Purple Line at Main Street at the exact time required.
The slow bump and grind of the subway car over the rails began to exhilarate me, and I wondered if any other women that traversed this route on a daily basis allowed herself to be sexually excited by the movement of the train, with it's swish swish, bump bump back and forth motion. Try it sometime where you're on one. Close out all the other passengers around you and just suppose that the subway car is some sort of giant and you're sitting in his lap as he ambles along.
Swish swish, bump bump.
By now my pussy was getting pretty wet from all the shaking and rattling, and the Main Street stop was fast approaching. Much to my chagrin so had the rider count. Certainly more than a few people exited the train at the Main Street stop, but many more got on.
The doors slipped almost silently shut and low and behold, there a businessman began to lean on one of the poles.
Moving from the position I was holding near the opposite door, I moved closer to see his socks, but damned if his suit pants were covering them. Feigning the recovery of a fumbled cell phone at my contacts feet, I bent down as the train lurched forward, just in time for Mr. Businessman to catch himself enough to show me that indeed, he did have mismatched socks beneath his pants. I wondered what ELSE was beneath his pants, slut that I am.
I digress.

Standing back up after recovering the cell phone, I sidled next to the guy on the pole. Since the Main Street stop, ridership in the car had increased exponentially which made my job a bit easier since all the seats were filled and many remained standing.
Having taken this subway line before, I knew that there was a portion of rough track ahead where several subway lines intersected and traversed crossovers and switches. Perfect timing!
As the cars began to lurch to and fro (swish swish, bump bump) I decided to reach turn my body sideways and reach down to grab Mr. Businessman's cock through his light wool pants. Mr. Businessman raised his head from the paper he was reading, his left eyebrow shooting skyward as my hand began to stroke his cock. Remaining nonchalant, I was looking out the window or staring at the ads plastered all over the car, just like everyone else. As I said, it was a bit crowded and there really IS nothing much else to do. I looked just like everyone else.

Mr. Businessman really didn't react all that much as his head quickly went back to the paper he was reading, and I continued the long stroke.
Mmmm. I love a man who wears silk boxers, and a stiff cock is easier to stroke through pants where he is wearing them.
Bump bump, swish swish. Back and forth, back and forth.
Harder and harder Mr. Businessman's cock got through that combination of silk and wool, and hotter and hotter my pussy got thinking about if anyone else saw what I was doing.
Suddenly, Mr. Businessman's head rose and tilted into the air from his paper, his eyes closed and I heard several small grunts issue from his throat as the cock in my hand got ├╝ber stiff and then suddenly much slipperier.
Vermont Circle was approaching, and I guess this was my cue to get off the subway. Frankly, I most certainly wanted to get off that subway car with its swish swish and bump bump so I could get off on my own. God I was horny by that point!

Exiting the subway car at just the last moment before the doors closed, I glanced backwards to see that Mr. Businessman had stopped reading the newspaper and instead had folded it up and was holding it quite tightly at his crotch.
"Another mission accomplished, another client satisfied,” I thought with a smirk as I hurried up the escalator to cross the tracks in order to catch the subway going the other way. There I go again: going up and going down. Now isn't that the story of my life?
Riding back to the station where I left my car gave me quite some time to think, and indeed my hands found their way to my pussy, touching her lips gently with the sway of the train. Since there were fewer people on this train I decided to practice a little frottage and stood hugging a pole between my breasts as the train lurched back and forth. If you're a woman, I highly recommend this type of masturbation whenever you can get away with it. Just stand with your body back a bit from it, and let the pole hit your tits and nipples as the subway car sways back and forth.
Conversely, you can grind your pussy into the same pole for a sensation that you will not soon forget.
Did I mention that I missed my stop?

Climbing out of the subway station and into the bright sunlight, my cell phone finally caught a signal and alerted me that I had missed a few calls and messages during my little subterranean adventure; one of them was an urgent text message from Ben.
I was a bit puzzled for a second after reading it, and then I realized what had happened.
Ben's message was simple and direct: "Where were you? Our client said you didn't show up for the 'meeting'".
I guess lots of businessmen make the mistake of getting dressed in the dark.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Any Thoughts?

A male co-worker today got me thinking about something I didn't know about myself.
We have about a dozen people in my office and because of the nature of our work (social services), we are a like minded group that is a great team. The guy I speak of is 60 years old and has literally been all over the world. He mentioned that I was the woman in the office that "obviously had talents beyond those of most women"
I didn't skip a beat and replied with "who have you been talking too?"
We both laughed and he immediately wanted to explain what he meant. His answer to my question was "I can just tell".
It was interesting because I am not a beautiful woman. I'm not slim or young. I've often thought that since I don't look like Barbie® I make up for it with other 'talents'. I have always preferred the company of men and perhaps this helps with the confidence factor that many men seem to like.
I told CJ about the remarks of the co-worker and he seemed to understand completely. He said he thought that lots of men, if they saw me walking down the street, would think to themselves 'I bet she's a good cocksucker'.
I would like to think I have decent (or is it indecent?) talents beyond the art of fellatio.
I thought CJ's opinion was only because he knew me, but he said that he was not letting his own feelings mix with his explanation.

Help me here, especially the guys. What is this about?
How does my co-worker know the 'dark side' of me? By the way, I haven't disclosed any information to him. What do you think causes this instinct?

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

CBW #88 Your Welcome

The email that accompanied this wonderful picture said:

I just wanted to convey to the both of you how much I enjoy your writings and with my boyfriends permission I submitted a cbw. So thank you!

And thank you Loyal Reader in Phoenix, AZ.

I especially like it when a woman sends in one of her favorite cocks.

Reminder: CJ's Friday posts will stop if each chapter is not paid for with a CBW.

So send me your special pic for a Dirty Debbie CBW just click on the button on the sidebar that looks like this:

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

The Test Says Type M

TYPE M? Perhaps
I guess CJ only knows for sure.

Your result for The What's your sexual style? Test...


You are a KINKY, CONFIDENT, SUBMISSIVE lover who prefers to RECEIVE.

This means that:

You like relatively kinky sex, and you have the great imagination that will always keep your partner guessing and excited! There's no getting bored with you around, you could never settle for dull sex, you want something fun and new all the time. You aren't afraid to try out anything you hear about. You might just be an intelligent lover who needs to be mentally engaged, or perhaps you have some dirty dark secret kinky desires, but either way, you're never boring.

You are pretty confident in bed. This means that you know you can please your lover. Maybe you've read a lot of sex manuals, or have the experience from previous lovers, or just tend to be skilled at whatever you get your hands on, but you're good and you know it. You can really get results and know that you have pure talent, so you won't be hiding away shy, pretending to be all innocent. Your partners love your naughty self assurance, you don't hesitate and this makes you a sensational lover.

You tend to be submissive in bed, so you prefer to go along with what your lover likes rather than your own plans. You might like being ordered around and acting out a slave/master fantasy, or perhaps you just get turned on by being helpless and unable to move. Or maybe it's as simple as you lacking courage so prefering firm instructions in bed to make sure you are doing things right. Either way, you won't be dominating your lover anytime soon, and might prefer the missionary position to any others.

You would rather Receive than Give. This usually applies more to Oral sex than anything else, and other types of foreplay. This could be for a number of reasons. Maybe you are just very hooked on the sensation of orgasm, maybe you feel you deserve to be treated like a god/goddess, maybe you just aren't confident about your skills when it comes to returning the favour. Maybe you are lazy. Or maybe your partner loves to give and that suits you fine, so everyone is happy. Either way, remember  to be a giver sometimes too, as long as your partner likes it.

Being Blindfolded and even tied up with scarves, and letting your partner tease, tickle and delight you, in the most tempting way. You are confident and imaginative enough to not mind them doing all sorts of fun things to you, surprises and frustratingly out of your reach pleasure. Just like back and enjoy, and maybe you can return the favour, maybe not.
Take The What's your sexual style? Test at HelloQuizzy