Sunday, July 6, 2008
Fuck Me Like Her-Part One
My boyfriend and I had been together for a couple of years. We had been living together for almost a year, but I was beginning to see small changes in our relationship. The thing is that subtle or little changes always seem to add up to something big and I was afraid this was one of those times. He seemed to be more moody, picked fights with me, and even though we didn’t see a lot of each other because of our work and school schedules, he didn’t seem to want to take advantage of the time we did have together.
I could tell I was starting to get depressed. It was as though I was living a life of quiet desperation, but I always did my best to cover my feelings up. I guess I wanted to stick my head in the sand about the whole thing. After all, it wasn’t bad all the time and I loved him, or at least I thought I did at the time.
Things got worse a few weeks ago though, and it helped me pull my head out of my ass, so to speak. Most any sign of affection began to disappear. There were no notes in the morning, no “I love you”, no more compliments on my looks or clothing. It was as though I was a ghost. He was either disinterested or too tired to be interested in making love. I could understand that considering his schedule, but no attempt was ever made to be physically close or please me in other ways. I just knew there was something wrong and sometimes when I asked about any of it, I became the one accused of cheating on him! It was as though any problem was my fault. That was the limit for me, I considered it disrespectful. I am proud of my love, my loyalty, and my integrity.
I needed some form of understanding. I wanted some sort of explanation one way or another. I never wanted to be so wrong about something in my life. I couldn’t help but start to notice things now; my head was very much in the clear now. I almost hated myself for one musing that always sent that special shot down to my pussy. That idea was that of my boyfriend actually fucking someone else and me seeing it.
At first, I saw a Map Quest print out with directions to a place about 30 minutes away that I was unfamiliar with. I figured he would tell me about his trip, but I never heard about it. At the end of the month I got my normal credit card bill. I always go over the charges on my bill and I saw one charge for a hotel restaurant in a nearby city. I was going to call the credit card company, but I was almost embarrassed to do so. It was dated on a day that he had off. He must have accidentally picked my Master Card up off the desk instead of his. But there was a finale, a final act that sort of made so angry that I became calm about the whole matter. That was the smell of perfume, that wasn’t mine, on him when he got home from ‘work’. Even if the scent were mine, I would find it hard to believe that it would stay with him for ten hours.
I didn’t let on at all that I knew. My mood and emotional state remained stable and even.
Luckily, I had a very empathetic girlfriend to speak to. Sure sometimes I had few more drinks than the normal with her, and we went on some food binges together, but somehow it all made me feel better. She also came in handy by introducing to one of my favorite toys , to help relieve ‘the pressure’. I think it was a mixture of the caring company and the physical pleasures of food and drink and the special orgasm toy that made me feel better whenever I saw her.
Read about how I dealt with the situation next time.