Vindication !

Usually I would wait until Sunday to present any sex news that I had run across for the week.

I just couldn't hold this information back. Being a woman that does a lot of her clothes shopping at Lane Bryant I like the data from this study. I doubt that it will change the preconceived notions men have about women, including my dear CJ, but there is still a feeling of vindication.

I have included excerpts about "The Curious Correlation Between Weight and Sex" below. Click on the link to get the whole story.






....According to research published in the September issue of Obstetrics & Gynecology, overweight women are more likely than their skinny sisters to report that they've had sex with a man -- 92% of overweight women reported having had sexual intercourse with a man vs. 87% of women of normal weight.
"It's totally unexpected," says Marie Harvey, the Oregon State University professor who co-authored the study with Dr. Bliss Kaneshiro, assistant professor at the school of medicine at the University of Hawaii....

The study's objective was to look at the impact of body mass index on sexual behaviour, and all other measures -- such as age of first intercourse, number of partners, frequency of intercourse and sexual orientation -- showed no difference between normal weight women and overweight women....

Prior to the release of the study's results, many hypothesized that overweight and obese women would be less sexually active than their normal-weight counterparts.
"It's our stereotype that men are attracted to slender women," says Harvey, who adds that thin women are often perceived as more sexually empowered....

© Copyright (c) Canwest News Service

A Study In Bonding

I write a lot about couples bonding in one way, sexual satisfaction between loving partners or casual partners and even strangers. There are an infinite number of combinations, only some of which I’ve been writing about.
I didn’t want to move on this year without reminding the loving couples that read this blog about bonding with your mate.


Below is a list of typical bonding behaviors. Sometimes they fall by the wayside in long-term relationships. For more about bonding, there is a great article called “The Lazy Way To Stay In Love” on a site about healing with sexual relationships, Reuniting

So what behaviors can lovers use to signal each other that they want to deepen their emotional connection? Here is a list:
* smiling, with eye contact
* skin-to-skin contact
* providing a service or treat without being asked
* giving unsolicited approval, via smiles or compliments
* gazing into each other’s eyes for several moments
* listening intently, and restating what you hear
* forgiving or overlooking an error or thoughtless remark, whether past or present
* preparing your partner something to eat
* synchronized breathing
* kissing with lips and tongues
* cradling, or gently rocking, your partner’s head and torso (works well on a couch, or with lots of pillows)
* holding, or spooning, each other in stillness for at least twenty minutes to a half-hour
* wordless sounds of contentment and pleasure
* stroking with intent to comfort
* massaging with intent to comfort, especially feet, shoulders and head
* hugging with intent to comfort
* lying with your ear over your partner’s heart and listening to his or her heartbeat for several moments
* touching and sucking of nipples/breasts
* gently placing your palm over your lover’s genitals with intent to comfort
* making time together at bedtime a priority (even if one partner has to get up and work on something afterward)

The desire for, and rewards of, these behaviors are deeply rooted in millions of year of evolution. Enjoy!

Sex News #10 Come Hither

Today's news is from the Baltimore Sun, my home town newspaper.
In the Psychology column of the Health Today section I saw the following headline:

"Sexes view come-hither differently, studies find."

The study was about a flirtatious or seductive man or woman intruding in on a committed relationship.
Findings were reported in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology and done by McGill University in Montreal.

When a move is made by an outsider men are more likely to succumb to temptation and women are more likely to reinforce the emotional fortress to protect the relationship.

It seems to have been an interesting study:
After an encounter/scenario with an attractive member of the opposite sex, the researchers had the subjects fill in the blanks of a word game.

I thought it might be fun to try this with my readers.

B E _ A _ E

L O _ A L

What words would you create?

Please don't leave your answers in the comment area. I don't want answers to be influenced by others. I will delete any answers in the comment area, but will still keep track of them.
Email me instead using the address on the sidebar or just click here
Don't forget to let me know what gender you are with your answer.

I'll keep this going for a week (or longer if I need more responses) and give the answers I got here along with what the study came up with in my next Sex News Sunday post.

Part Two of my news this week: I think my muse is here, I just need a little more energy to keep up with her. I should have more stories soon. In the mean time CJ is still writing so don't forget to visit his site, Dirty Debbie's CJ

Sex News Sunday #7

I chose the following story not only for content, but for my own selfish reasons.






The subject today is not new to most women. It's from the always self proclaimed unbiased(?) Fox News online.
Fox reports on a study that shows that women feel 'cheap' and 'used' after a one night stand. Don't ask me why they used quotes for those words.
It is a story that looks into the psychology of casual sex. My favorite, next to my own, website is Wikipedia.
Wiki describes casual sex by:

One night stand is a single sexual encounter between individuals, where at least one of the parties has no immediate intention or expectation of establishing a longer-term sexual or romantic relationship.

Apparently women get involved with things like one night stands because of a certain degree of flattery felt, the sense of being wanted. Being a female I understand those feelings. Men are on the opposite end of the pole (excuse the pun): men lower their standards to get laid and the flattery is a fantasy to them.
I always enjoy the news I find that deal with the opinions and feelings that involve both sexes. To read all the information check out my last Sex News post and read about the study at FoxNews

Now to add some personal experience to the objective study.
When I was college, many years ago, before sex could kill you with AIDS or Hep C. I enjoyed many different men. I hope they enjoyed me too. I would say that about 95% of those encounters were casual or what is called today, steady fuck buddies.
True, once in a while I felt cheap and I questioned my standards. It wasn't all bad though.
When I was a 19 year old sophomore I was introduced by my friends to an 18 year old freshman.
I wasn't that impressed. Without going into the soap opera-like details. I eventually became interested and curious in him. I ended up propositioning him. In my mind it would be a fun night, maybe even a fun weekend, but that would be it. It was fun. It was great, I could barely walk the next day.
We ended up together for a much longer time than that weekend. I was surprised. It seemed like fate.
His name was CJ. We were married about 2 years later and divorced 5 years after that. We have wonderful daughter now, known as the Star Child to us. After 17 years we were reunited and are back making love to each other again.
I would say go into a casual sex experience with your eyes open gals, but remember you never know, it could be a way to meet your soulmate.

Is This Possible?

Tonight CJ told me that: "All I ever think about is sex". He didn't seem to be kidding.
So I want to know what my readers think. Can you have too much sex on the brain? If you do tell me what "too much" is. Personally I don't think that's all I think about. It sure would ruin my job performance if I did....lol Although truthfully I do get some ideas for stories at work...mmm.
Add any thoughts in the comment area and please take my poll.
Thanks all.

Can You Think Too Much About Sex?
	Oh Yes
	No Way
	What was he thinking?
	Dirty Debbie can't
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Sex News Sunday #6

Today's title for Sex News could be called "Is This Really News?"













As you may have noticed by now, my news posts many times are about recent research on the subject.  Apparently this week Durham University released research that shows they have proof that men like casual sex more than women do.  This 'fact' seems to be common knowledge to me.

The reasearch speaks more of evolution and emotional maturity and biology.  It always amazes me that just the difference of the experience of sex is different for woman, because of one major thing: a woman's body is invaded and penetrated during the act.

Read about the research and reasons about the attidtude toward Casual Sex and Scientific Fact

Sex News Sunday #1

As mentioned in my post on Tuesday the 15th 'My News' I am starting a regular item for Sundays: current events about sex.

The first bit of news involves research coming from The Kinsey Institute at the University of Indiana.
As the newswise site puts it, they have found that:
WHEN IT COMES TO SEX, SOME MEN ARE FROM MARS, OTHERS FROM VENUS
It's research about men reporting a variety of different experiences involving sexual desire and arousal.

The focus groups involved 50 men divided into three groups based on their age (18-24 years, 25-45 years and 46 and older). Below are some examples of the different experiences reported by the men:

* Some factors, such as depression or a risk of being caught having sex, were reported by some men as inhibiting sex, while other men found that they can enhance their desire and arousal.
* An erection is not the main cue for men to know they are sexually aroused. Most of the men responded that they can experience erections without feeling aroused or interested, leading researchers to suggest that erections are not good criteria for determining sexual arousal in men.
* Many men found it difficult to distinguish between sexual desire and sexual arousal, a distinction prominent in most sexual response models used by researchers and clinicians.
* The changes in the quality of older men's erections had a direct effect on their sexual encounters, including, for some, a shifting focus to the partner and her sexual enjoyment. Older men also consistently mentioned that as they aged, they became more careful and particular in choosing sexual partners.
* The sexual history of women also mattered to the men -- but differently for different age groups. Sexually experienced women were considered more threatening by younger men, who had concerns about "measuring up," but such women were considered more arousing for older men.

To read more about this subject and the research go to:
Research and Insights from Indiana University at newswise.

It's Nice to Know

I have several websites that I use for research purposes for my blog and what's going on in the world of sex. Wired's Sex Drive Daily, Sex News from topix.net, and iVillage Love and Sex to name a few.
I took the following quiz at the iVillage site:
Are You Good In Bed? The Racy Version.
Below are the results. It's stuff that's nice to hear from a source other than your lover once in a while.

Sexpert Extraordinaire!

Go on, gloat -- you deserve it! Game to try anything once, gregarious and confident in bed, you've not only got few inhibitions and a high sex drive, but you're as sensitive to your lover's needs as you are to your own (and more than capable of satisfying both).

Your huge appetite for hedonistic pleasures attracts swarms of partners. Match up with an equally skilled lover who's as adventurous, imaginative and nonjudgmental as you are and erotic, earth-moving encounters happen daily.

You leave your lovers with a sloppy grin on their faces, and your exes not only still find you excruciatingly attractive, they like you heaps because you're as good at relationships as you are at sex. You give as much as you take; you masturbate both with and without your partner; and you aren't afraid to speak up in bed, encouraging your lovers to do the same. Flexible and gloriously liberated, you'll try anything once trust develops. Go straight to the head of the class!

Try the test for yourself here, have fun!

Advantages To Having Sex

Below are true advantages to having sex, just in case you needed some reminders.

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.

2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis,skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.

3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.

4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!

5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.

6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!

7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.

8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.

9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.

10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.

Is This What Started The Housing Boom?

As many of you regular readers know I do enjoy men. Usually in this blog that comes across as discussions about the love of cock, or the feel of a CJ's mustache (cookie duster) on my pussy, or anything else involving the anatomy and physiology of the male of the species.

I do celebrate mean in another way and have for a while. I enjoy men's departments in stores and men's magazines, in particular GQ. To the point that my daughter gave me a subscription for Christmas two years ago.
Below is a blurb I found in the March edition that had me think about a few things. My comments follow it.

Have You House Humped Yet?Don't tell the broker:couples are having sex at real estate showings

Anyone who's shopped for a home knows what it's like to lust after square footage and marble floors. But a few would-be buyers take it as far as the practioners of "house humping", a curious real estate fetish that's surfacing in markets up and down the West Coast. Before it deleted the entry Wikipedia defined 'house-humping' as "a couple going to a real estate open house and having some form of sexual encounter. The practice seems to have originated in the Pacific Northwest." Yahoo hosts a house-humping discussion group where freaky-deaks try to top each other with wild tales of thrill seeking master-bedroom nooky. The more packed the open house, it seems, the more exciting. On one web bulletin board, a frequent humper boasted of infiltrating Seattle open houses, where he and his paramour "found a couple minutes of privacy and did some denim diving". Nice.
And it appears that this Sunday-afternoon pastime has advanced southward as well. Late last year, there was internet chatter about amorous encounters at Los Angeles open houses. Another posting recommended Palm Springs as an ideal house-humping target because "a lot of the PS realtors are old and don't stray much from their kitchens". But while it's certainly fun to outsmart a geriatric broker there are some rules of decency. As ope devotee cautions: "The trick is not shaking the realtor's hand when leaving."
So how do you house hump without getting busted? Veteran humpers recommend that you enlist a third party "to distract the broker with arcane questions about molding, hinges, and vents." that should buy you enough time to, uh, close the deal.

--KEN HEGAN

I worry that a young couple that is already going to such depths for a 'thrill' in their sex life is liable to burn-out pretty quickly. I wonder if they will always seek the thrills outside of themselves, never knowing the thrill of each other.
I do wonder about the 'decency factor'. Maybe it's because I am very much a worshiper of Hesta/Vesta (the goddesses of the home and hearth). It is sacred. Go ahead and 'christen' every room in the house, once it's your home. I think that's a good idea. I think CJ and I have done the act everywhere but the bathroom and the kitchen, and at least foreplay has occurred in those places. It brings love in. Turns a house into a home.

Oh, I'm in the East Coast and until reading this article had never heard of this phenomena, has one else out there heard of it? Experienced it? What do you think?