Sunday, April 29, 2007

Sabbatical Research-Delayed

When I came back here after a one month sabbitical I mentioned that I would be doing a new feature on Sundays-my research from my time off.
That will be delayed.
I'm an not 100% mentally today. This is due to some celebration last night.
This past weekend is the 28th anniversary of my first date with CJ.
We celebrate it because even after all these years it's still amazing to us.
I'm not sure I've told this story in the past, but CJ and I had our first date in college. I was a sophomore and he was a freshman.
A relationship was in had disintegrated. I didn't want to be alone for the weekend. I had met CJ through some friends of mine. So knowing how to get what I want at the ripe age of 19 I propositioned him. He accepted and we had a fantastic weekend. He was a gentleman and he was on fire. We had sex six times that first night, ah to be young, and we spent the remaining time in the school year together. I figured when I left for home that was it. I had planned on it being a one-night-stand. Within a few weeks I got a nice letter from CJ, yes that was back in day when you had to write a letter. I knew it was going to last longer and I was glad because I already knew he was perfect. We had plenty of ups and downs, lived together, got married, had a wonderful child, got divorced, remained apart for 17 years, and have now been back together for 3 years and counting.
So we celebrate. We smile at each other and talk about how good it all is. We caress and kiss and silently tell each other how good it all is.
It is all perfect, again.
So we celebrate.


Midwestern City Boy said...

I don't recall reading the story of how you and CJ met. Thanks for sharing. I love to hear about peoples origins.

BTW: I remember the days of letters two; but I preferred the telephone. Somehow, nothing beats hearing the voice of your SO when you are separated.

mutleythedog said...


Dirty Debbie said...

MCB...yep that's the story, and of course it happened in the great state of Ohio. I know you'll appreciate
I agree about the voice, but being a young woman there was something more romantic about getting the letter from his summer job [Cedar Point].

Dirty Filthy Princess said...

Wonderful! I am so happy for you guys. My husband and I celebrate the night we met every year, and I plan to still be doing it decades from now, just like you guys.

Alfie said...

Have to ask this. Do either of you regret the 17 years apart?

CJ said...

Regret is such a strong word, don't you think? Certainly there are things I regret doing in my life while I was apart from Deb, but I also don't think that I would have grown in the direction that my life has taken me without having been apart, nor would my daughter be the success she is had I not done so.

Strange I know, but I am convinced that the Bright Star would not be the woman that I know she will be had I been around. There were too many conflicts deep within my life that were resolved by doing what I did when I was apart from Debbie, but now and in retrospect, I needed that time to see the stupidity of my actions back then.

Please understand that after we got back together, we both realized that we had subconsciously been yearning after each other, doing things beneath the realm and veil of reality that brought us back together; much as the Universe did when it put us together in the first place.
That said, you may surmise that I believe in Fate much more than I do man's freedom of choice. This is true in part only. As we live our lives, we weave an intricate tapestry around ourselves and each other, and if we wish to weave a certain way, we may, but only when we allow ourselves to lose control to the Greater Will, can we begin to see the Big Picture of what the tapestry actually looks like. Each of us still has the Free Will to make daily, if not hourly choices in our lives, but wise philosophers and sages such as Lao Tsu teach us that to truly be a part of the Whole, we need to become like a leaf floating down the stream. If we resist, we get caught up in the rocks of life, whereas if we let go, we bounce harmlessly off the peril as we float to our destination.

So regret? Only for some of the stupid things that I've done in my life that are not in harmony with the Big Picture, and leaving might have hurt those I love, but it was necessary in order to grow.

How do you know which is the right path?
Once you attain a certain spiritual balance in your life, understanding the concepts that I speak of and those such as "Karma" or "Dhama" and that we as humans need to walk with gentleness, grace and love through the world, it becomes much easier.
The irony is 'though, that the Universe begins to challenge you with much harder choices, one which require subtle thought and the ability to discern the small, quiet voice of God within.


Shay said...

I love that you two still celebrate your first encounter!

Dirty Debbie said...

Regrets? never. So much happened over that period of time that had to happen to prepare us to get it right this time.
How many people do you know get the wonderful gift of a second chance?
We were blessed with that and rebuilding our family unit.
CJ had the time to get past some of his problems and I had time to prove myself to my daughter and to myself.
It all worked out just the way it was always meant to.
So, no regrets.

ArtfulDodger said...

You guys have a wonderful story and you should continue to celebrate, not only that day, but all the others that life has allowed you to have together!

Dee's Husband Joe said...

I love your story. It brings me joy every time you remind us that you came back together after all that time apart. It's just so cool and heartening!