Friday, October 13, 2006

A Letter To Dr. Laura

A neighbor of ours dropped this off to CJ today and I couldn't resist sharing it with everyone.
It is from
This letter highlights fallacy in a particular anti-homosexual argument.


Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how best to follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the alter as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is the neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:9-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? What can't I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though it is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blasphame a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.
Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted and adoring fan.

A bit of a reminder from Debbie here. You can't pick and choose the rules you go by. If you want to base your bigotry and fear on the laws of the bible, you've got to be sure you're not breaking any of them.


Richard said...

You seem very well versed on the bible. I believe that to lead your life using the bible, and religion as a guide is fine. As long as you control it, and it doesn't control you.

Anonymous said...

NO NO Richard...this isn't from me, it is supposedly a letter posted to
I was raised Jewish, but am now a practicing Wiccan.
I guess sarcasm doesn't come across well in writing huh?

What gets me here first and foremost is using the bible as an excuse for intolerance and homophobia. You know there is not enough love in this world and I celebrate most any form of it. A gay couple loves each other just as much as CJ and I do.

Secondly, the people that use these bible verses only pick and choose the laws they want to abide my (as proven by the examples in this letter)

single gal said...

Well said Debbie. I've seen that letter circulated a few times but it's still great.

Anonymous said...

Single was the first time I had seen it so I had to put my two cents in. Glad you think it's great.

Anonymous said...

Let's not leave out

Galatians 6:7

What's up with that?

Anonymous said...'s basically as ye reap, so shall ye sow.
Even my religion (Wicca) believes in that one.
Karma baby, karma.
But, I'm missing your point.

ArkayToday said...

Eh. First time I read it I got a laugh. But I have a problem with people accusing Jews and Christians of reading the bible superficially in order to support their personal beliefs and then defending that that accusation by making equally superficial readings.

The pot here is calling the kettle black.

CJ said...

I don't believe that it's superficial at all..

The KJV plainly states in Exodus 35:2
"Six days shall work be done, but on the seventh day there shall be to you an holy day, a sabbath of rest to the LORD: whosoever doeth work therein shall be put to death."

There is no "reading into" that statement, yet many people - Christians and Jews - work on the sabbath, be it Saturday or Sunday, and yet we stone them not.
Why therefore is there not equable for all sinners?

My personal belief structure has gone from Lutheran to Wicca, to Buddhism / Taoism, and what I have to be the basis of all truth is this: believe nothing until tested to be true.
I believe it was the Oracle at Delphi which stated "know thyself"...

As to the question at hand, I have come to understand that the Old Testament cannot be taken literally and at face value for the aforementioned reasons.
Do you ACTUALLY believe in the face of evidence that the Earth is 6000 years old and was created in 7 days, or were these stories told to a less intelligent and sophisticated people as a means to explain some ancient mystery?

Have you ever considered what would happen if you could travel back in time and whip out the old Zippo lighter to start a fire?
You would be tossed on the fire you set as a witch or devil due to the ignorant mindset of the natives involved.

The same holds true with the Old Testament. These were good laws for the time, but do not hold true today.
I not only eat and enjoy pork, I have learned from science that I must cook it to 170° before I eat it, or else a nasty trichinosis worm may invade my gut

We know from science that nature abhors not only a vacuum, but also a static and abeyant Universe. All things must progress and move forward, else they will atrophy and be replaced. So it MUST be with religion, or there would have been no need for the New Testament.

As DD said, when two people love, support and cherish each other, they should be left to their own devices.
Two gay people want to be united? Let them!
They deserve to be as miserable as the rest of us, don't they? ;)