A recent post by DD about a fox news study and other comments, and conversation with DD got me thinking about casual sexual exploits.
Quotes stolen directly from
this FoxNews articleYeah, I said "stolen" - FUCK YOU FOX! Your reporting is slanted and biased, and you brook no dissension or legitimate argument.
"Guys just want, well, you know, while gals go to bed with the false impression of flattery and a craving for feeling desirable." "Men reported feelings of success since the partner was desirable to others and found the experiences much more sexually satisfying than women did."It's true - we men still engender a neanderthal history in our genes, but what did our distant cousins find attractive in a mate? Was it some physical affect or was there a subtle psychological mechanism to which we (or they) aren't aware?
It is also true that men will cheat and (moreover) tell lies of false flattery in order to bed the female they desire.
The sad part of my experience shows that this is true. Does this mean that women are shallow and easily swayed by any form of flattery? In some cases I believe the answer is yes; but what of those attempted conquests where even the best flattery falls flaccid?
There is nothing more devastating to a male ego than to be shot down when attempting a casual pickup - be it in a bar, a club, or even on the street - after using their sweetest flattery. The thoughts race: "Is she married?", "Am I ugly?", "Do I or my breath smell bad?", "Why is she with THAT geek?", or "Doesn't she want a REAL man?"
To be sure, there's a part of every man named Og who jumps up and down inside screaming when shot down. Admit it men.
"O ooo ooo ee EE EE AH AH!!!"
And the women. What woman in her right mind wouldn't want to be found desirable?
What man wouldn't fall for flattery from a woman as well?
Turn the statement around and you will find that men are affected by flattery and the craving for feeling desired as well.
Christ, I'm not even a research psychologist and I know the truth here..
"Women were not hooking up in an effort to secure a long-term beau, but because they felt flattered by the overnight proposition." "Contrary to popular belief, women said they didn't view casual sex as a prelude to a long-term relationship.Really? So the researcher here is saying that women are idiots. I think not. The truth of the matter may lie somewhere in between as most of us are looking for that "certain someone" and are intelligent enough to realize that any one of us may be "the one".
"(m)en lower their standards when it comes to one-night stands, so the presumed flattery is a fantasy or close to it."Ahem. Yeah, if they're drunk and just want to fuck the first thing they see perhaps. As to flattery as fantasy, see above. Do men lie to get laid? Of course! As do women.
"Often [women] said things like, 'I felt so flattered, so happy that he found me attractive. It was so nice to be wanted'" This is quite the vapid statement, don't you think? I can see and hear in my mind's eye some Valley Girl saying this, and perhaps it is true that we have esteem issues in our society, but why?
Were they not told that they were special and pretty by their father, or if they were, could these sentiments have been misused or abused?
"Women predominantly reported "regret at being used," with additional comments including: "I felt cheap," "horrified afterward," and "I felt degraded. Made myself look cheap and easy. Total regret."My question to those women: "Were you drunk before you fucked?" Oh, you weren't? That just proves that you're a sucker for flattery and that you have no idea of your true self worth or inner beauty.
"Oh I just couldn't help myself, I just HAD to spread my legs and let him fuck me hard!"
Riiiiight.
"(T)hey could be collecting healthy genes for their offspring. So even if a woman can't score a lengthy relationship with a guy whose sperm could offer, say, disease-resistant genes or genes for a particular kind of intelligence, her thinking might be, "Why not grab the guy for sex?"'Grabbing healthy genes for their offspring. Any where exactly do women STORE these genes that they are collecting? Do women's bodies keep sperm in some special place until just the right ones are collected and combined to make the perfect match for the ovum?
Guess I missed this one in biology class..
"If you've got a Brad Pitt character — absolutely gorgeous and incredibly loaded with money and so on — the chances of getting him to commit himself to you for the rest of your life are pretty slim," Campbell said. "But the chances of him giving you a half an hour on a Wednesday afternoon in a hotel are probably much better."(sigh) I guess what the researchers here are saying, as reported by Fox, is that women are stupid and fall instantly for a good looking guy with money and an expensive car.
Maybe it's true is some regard.
I've asked myself questions about this in the past , "why do women fall for looks and the perception of money or just the knowledge of money?" and can only look to my experiences for answers.
I can get a manicure and great haircut, put on my Armani suit, rent a sports car, go out on the town to the most tony spot and strut my stuff and get the knockout girl but if my attitude isn't right, she'll just pass me over.
It's all about confidence.
It doesn't matter that I'm dressed "to the 9's" or how much money I toss around, what matter is that I act with confidence when I approach my quarry.
Yes I said "quarry".
Man is by nature a hunter, woman a gatherer. (BTW, I know the lines have crossed in history, but bear with me) and one of the basic rules of hunting is this:
I am confident that I will come home with my kill.
A hunter proceeds with respect for his quarry, but with the belief that with his knowledge and skill that he will prevail - over the game, over predators, and most assuredly - over other hunters. Winners after all, want it more and exude confidence and self assurance in an assertive manner.
This is what men do when they are after the biggest hunt of all: pussy.
Have I had my share of disappoints? Yup. Many times.
Usually came the next day during a hangover.
Have I been "used"? Yup. Makes me feel like shit.
Have I ever had an authentic NSA fuck buddy? Yup, but most ended up fawning over me and wanting a relationship that I didn't desire.
DId I ever fawn over a hookup only to be let down? Yup. Hurt like hell, so I can empathize with how women feel here.
Were most hookups regrettable or forgettable? In more than 75% of my experiences, yes. 'Turns out that I was looking for more than great tits and a tight pussy.
What I was really looking for was a partner that understood me way down to the very core, one who knew when and would tell me when I was full of shit but at the same time, allow me my fantasies and illusions of importance without castrating my intelligence or ego.
One with whom I could experience life on a deeper level.
One who I could respect, and who would respect me.
See, that's what I got after a famous one-night-stand, and that's really why Deb couldn't walk the next day, and indeed why we've been together (on and off) for over 25 years.
For more on "hooking up", please see: Fairfield Mirror article or Harvard College Candy article
